In Brokenness and Beauty, it is well…
Before getting involved in the foster, adoption and family restoration world, I had never seen such BROKENNESS, nor such BEAUTY. This is something that cannot be fully experienced unless you join us in this world, but I’m going to tell you a few stories to try to help you experience it with us.
Nine years ago, a judge ruled that 2 parents’ lives were so beyond repair that their parental rights would be terminated. These two people had been given over a year to fix their issues and show they would be good parents, but they were not able to. The woman had grown up in and out of foster care herself. While we may agree that they were not the best placement for a 1-year-old baby, we can at the same time see their humanity and weep over the level of BROKENNESS in these people’s lives. When the rights were terminated, no one was in court to support those two people except their court appointed lawyers. The two people did not show up themselves. Five months later, that little1-year-old baby was adopted into a loving family surrounded by his new grandparents, new aunts and uncles, new cousins, and friends. The court room was filled with love and joy on that day. It was a BEAUTIFUL celebration. My family was created.
Unfortunately, the first family had to be broken in order for the second family to form.
In Brokenness and Beauty, It Is Well.
Nine years ago, I did not have the depth of trauma knowledge that I do today. Nine years ago, I only felt the joy and saw the BEAUTY in that courtroom. Nine years ago, I had not experienced post-partum depression that manifested as rage towards my 2-year-old son. Nine years ago, I had not experienced post-partum depression that made me not want to live. Nine years ago, I feltlike I was rooting for biological parents, but I didn’t truly understand what that meant. Nine years ago, my eyes had not been fully opened to the level of spiritual BROKENNESS in our world.
My eyes have been opened.
Now when I go to adoptions, (which is a joyous part of my job!) I feel the full weight of the BROKENNESS and the BEAUTY. I feel the BROKENNESS of the original family being torn apart beyond repair and the BEAUTY of the new family being formed. I feel the BROKENNESS of the empty courtroom with no support when the original parents’ rights were terminated and the BEAUTY of the full courtroom overflowing with love and joy when the new family is formed through adoption.
In Brokenness and Beauty, It Is Well.
Ten and a half years ago, I told my husband I wanted to be foster parents. He told me that I should just be a CASA and I prayed for his eyes to be opened. Ten and a half years ago, my husband had a 6-year-old little boy in his class whose dad had kicked him in the ribs so that they were bruised. When my husband called CPS, he was told “It’s not bad enough. We don’t have enough homes.”
His eyes were opened.
We went through the process to become foster parents and our home was opened exactly one hour before a tiny baby was born who would need a home. The baby came to live with us, and the student ended up in foster care less than a year later. Our home was full at that time, so the student went to live with someone else. The tiny baby was adopted by us when he was one and the student went on to live with different families in foster care. Over the years, we have been given updates on the student because of our level of involvement with the foster care system. He has grown up in the system.
Today I heard an update on the student. He has had a rough year. He is experiencing the BROKENNESS of the foster care system. He needs a family with a strong father figure and no children younger than him to connect with him and adopt him. He deserves to see the BEAUTY, but right now is living in the BROKENNESS.
When I heard the update today, it broke me. This little boy does not know that he was the catalyst for so many good things happening through For the Sake of One.
And then I thought of the tiny baby. Although he was adopted, he has had a rough couple of years. But this year, things are going so well. He has been through the BROKENNESS but is currently living in the BEAUTY. Thinking of these two boys reminded me of the reason for our name (For the Sake of One). If you do not know the meaning, read the starfish story here.
Today I am living in the BROKENNESS and BEAUTY of foster care, adoption and family restoration and IT IS WELL. I will continue to see and feel the BROKENNESS and that is how God drives me to action, but I can also live in the BEAUTY of all God is continuing to do. Unfortunately, I can not save all the children or families, but God can and I will rest knowing that He is in control. Join me in seeing
In Brokenness and Beauty, It Is Well!
Thanks to CAFO 2019 for sharing this beautiful phrase!