Deep Thoughts with Anna and Elsa

Everyone knows the story of Frozen, right? There are 2 sisters (Anna and Elsa) who are best friends and love playing together in the snow that Elsa is able to magically create. Anna is the younger sister and delights in her big sister Elsa and the fun that Elsa can create. Until one fateful day when Elsa misses the mark, hits Anna right in the head with her snow power (for lack of a better word), and thinks she kills her. Elsa is told that she must conceal her powers and not feel because when she feels, her powers get out of control. She is so scared of hurting Anna again that she shuts her out of her life for years. Even when their parents die (which HAS to happen because its a Disney movie…), Elsa won’t talk to Anna.

Then the time comes for Elsa to become queen. She is so nervous because she has hidden herself from the world for YEARS! She practices concealing her emotions so that she can perform her duties as queen during her coronation ceremony. Unfortunately, a sibling spat occurs over Anna marrying someone she just met, Anna pushes Elsa, Elsa gets mad and uses her snow powers in front of everyone! Ashamed of herself and scared, she runs off into the mountains and finally feels free and alone for the first time in her life. What she doesn’t know is that she has set Arandale into an eternal winter! Anna comes to look for her, and this is where our story gets good!

As with all great Disney movies, Anna and Elsa break into song. Watch it here NOW and read these highlighted lyrics from the song.

[Anna:]
You don't have to protect me I'm not afraid
Please don't shut me out again,
Please don't slam the door
You don't have to keep your distance anymore

'Cause for the first time in forever
I finally understand
For the first time in forever
We can fix this hand in hand

We can head down this mountain together
You don't have to live in fear
'Cause for the first time in forever,
I will be right here

[Anna:]
You've kind of set off an eternal winter... everywhere

[Elsa:]
Everywhere?

[Anna:]
It's okay, you can just unfreeze it

[Elsa:]
No, I can't, I - I don't know how!

[Anna:]
Sure you can! I know you can!
'Cause for the first time in forever,
[Elsa:]
Oh I'm such a fool, I can't be free!

[Anna:]
You don't have to be afraid
[Elsa:]
No escape from the storm inside of me!

[Anna:]
We can work this out together
[Elsa:]
I can't control the curse!

[Anna:]
We'll reverse the storm you've made
[Elsa:]
Ohhhh, Anna, please, you'll only make it worse!

[Anna:]
Don't panic
[Elsa:]
There's so much fear!

[Anna:]
We'll make the sun shine bright
[Elsa:]
You're not safe here!

[Anna:]
We can face this thing together
[Elsa:]
Oh!

[Anna:]
We can change this winter weather
[Elsa:]
AHHHHH...

[Anna:]
And everything will be alright...
[Elsa:]
I CAN'T!

So, Why do I take the time to tell you the story of Frozen? Why do I ask you to watch a video of cartoons singing? Why do I ask you to read the words from the song?

Because our foster and adopted children *sing* these words to us every day. They accidentally hurt us. They don’t want help because they feel that they are foolish and would just hurt everyone around them. They have so much emotion bottled up inside of them! Some of them hide it well. We think, “Oh, they must not be going through much. They just act like normal kids.” But it’s there. If the giant emotions aren’t coming out, its because they’ve gotten REALLY good at the same thing Elsa did:

Conceal, don’t feel

Because, if they take the time to feel, they might explode.

As caretakers, we push them to talk. We tell them it’s all going to be ok. We tell them we will work it out together. And our kids respond with, “You’ll only make it worse! I can’t control the curse! There’s so much fear!”

And we are both right. They can’t control it. They have so much fear. We will work on it together. We connect with them in order to help them heal. And little by little they learn that love can help them heal.

Now watch this clip. In Frozen, an act of true love is how to break the snow curse. In our lives, it’s not easy. It’s messy. Some days our kids let us help and other days they don’t. But we will keep trying. We will keep showing them love and helping them through their fears, because we know….

They can Thaw.

and once they do, they are beautiful and soft, and loving. So, don’t give up hope.

Thanks for joining me for my Deep Thoughts with Anna and Elsa.